Thursday, September 23, 2010

This Man needs this Job

             Job application of the Decade

               Dear Sir

              I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your
              company and wish to apply for the replacement of the dead

              Each time I apply for employment I am told there is no
              vacancy but on this one, I have caught you red handed coz I
              even attended the funeral and all burial proceedings and made
              sure that he was truly dead before applying. I can remember
              you saying on the funeral that he will be very difficult
              tore place, meaning there is no one at the moment. Well it's
              your lucky day sir; you already have found the best man for
              the job so look no more.

              It is sad but strategic though, that he has left us, at least
              now I stand to benefit as he has left a vacancy for me. For
              that I shall forever be grateful for his timely death. He too
              always spoke of early retirement and I guess this serves him
              well too. A deal that benefits all should be the substance of
              a fine businessman. Ironic, yes but death is truly very fair.
              Just imagine, the company no longer has to pay his retirement

              The company will not have to worry about paying me a
              relocation allowance because he was my neighbour and it will
              be easy for me to simply jump over the Durawall into that
              beautiful big company house. I also took it into my hands to
              quickly buy a drivers' licence as I am sure the Toyota 4x4
              will also be handed over to me. And sir, don't even try to
              cheat me on this one because I even know the mileage reading
              on that beautiful machine. This just goes on to prove that I
              am a determined self starter who is attentive to detail.
              Amiable qualities that speak for themselves.

              I am sure that after reading this, there won't be any need
              for a CV, just verification if I am up for the challenge. For
              that sir, I will be sending my pictures taken whilst attending
              the funeral and burial so that you can see how tough I was
              and can be when employed. As for my referees, well the same
              dead manager was my referee so we can safely skip that part.

              I only hope there will be no corruption as we are all still
              mourning. Thanks for advertising at the funeral because I
              could not have known

              Yours ever smiling even in tough times.

              Tough man Strong

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about me

Ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria
salako a. sunday is a banking professional with interest in busines technology, mobility and social media.